


Let Him Fly

by twhstuckylover



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stucky - Fandom
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Established Relationship, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 12:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twhstuckylover/pseuds/twhstuckylover
Summary: Bucky remembers the worst night of his life as he visits Steve





	Let Him Fly

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta’d. All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> I wrote this while listening to Jessica Simpson’s song “Let Him Fly” I recommend giving it a listen while you read this.

Bucky pulls up to the section of the cemetery he knows so well. He turns off the ignition and sits there, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He never understands why he has this inner battle with himself every week when he first gets here. He knows that he is going to get out of the car and walk to the grave.

Bucky thinks he does it because in his mind, he knows that this might be that last time he ever does this. Even that thought sounds crazy to himself. Bucky knows that he will never be able to break the routine.

He has grown use to waking up every Thursday morning at 9 and getting ready for the day. He makes himself a small breakfast then does his dishes. He leaves the house precisely at 10:20 am and drives to the little flower shop in the middle of town. He arrives at the shop at 10:43 am and goes inside. He looks around at the different flowers even though he buys the same bouquet every week. He leaves the flower shop and gets back on the road by 11. Bucky always takes the scenic route to the cemetery, so he can clear his mind of things. He wants to be completely relaxed when he visits him.

Bucky grabs the bouquet off the passenger seat and gets out of his car. He locks the car even though he knows that no one is going to do anything to it. He walks the 200 feet to the grave and just stands there, looking at it.

Bucky remembers the night that changed his life forever so clearly.

**About a year and a half ago - Early December 2016**

Steve and him had made plans to stay at a friend’s cabin for the weekend, so they could get away. They were sitting on the couch, listening to the light rain hitting on the window, Steve turns to Bucky with a big smile on his face. “Let’s drive to the cabin right now.” Bucky gets a questioning look on his face. “I thought we were going to drive there tomorrow morning?” “Yeah, but I want to start our getaway weekend tonight.” “I don’t know, Stevie. The weather could be worse in the mountains.” Steve puts his best puppy dog look on. “Please Buckaroo.” He knows that Bucky can’t say no to that face. “Fine. You win. We can go tonight.” Steve laughs and kisses Bucky’s cheek. “Thanks, baby.” Steve gets off the couch to get their bags.

Bucky is packing some snacks for the drive up there as Steve is packing up the car. Steve comes back in the house and walks up to Bucky. He wraps his arms around Bucky and kisses the tip of Bucky’s nose. Bucky smiles. “I love you.” Steve smiles back. “I love you too.” They leave the house after they double check all the locks on the doors and make sure they didn’t forget anything.

The drive up to the mountains was pretty good even as the rain began to come down harder. The higher they got in the elevation, the more the rain was turning into snow. The sun has gone down by the time they reach the road they need to turn off to get to the cabin.

The snow is coming down pretty heavily now and the road is getting pretty slippery. Bucky puts the truck in 4-wheel drive to make it easier for him. He’s driving slower now because he doesn’t know the area very well.

Steve turns his head towards Bucky for a few seconds to ask, “So what do you want to do this weekend?” Bucky suddenly yells, “Oh, shit!” Bucky slams on the breaks and swerves to try to miss the deer that ran onto the road. Bucky turns the wheel too fast and the truck starts to flip.

Bucky doesn’t remember how many times the truck flipped, all he knows is that he is in a lot of pain. When he opens his eyes, he sees he’s still in the truck. He moves very slowly, looking around for Steve. He doesn’t see him in the truck and begins to panic. He finally spots his crumbled body lying in the snow. He painfully takes off his seat belt and slowly gets out of the truck. His left leg is throbbing in pain as he puts his weight on it, but he doesn’t care because he needs to get to Steve.

He gets to his body in the snow and sees all the blood pooling around him. He kneels down next to Steve’s side. Bucky sees that Steve is all cut up and knows that he is a lot worse than he is.

Bucky brushes some hair out of his face. “Stevie, look at me please.” Steve opens his eyes a little bit and smiles when he sees Bucky. Steve whispers more into the snow than at Bucky, “Are you okay?” Bucky lies, “Yeah, I’m fine.” “Okay good because I don’t think I am.” A single tear runs down Bucky’s bloody cheek as he says, “I’m going to call for help.” Bucky pulls his phone out of his pocket and thankfully it’s not ruined. Bucky calls 911 and tells the operator what happened. An ambulance is on its way, but it’s going to take 30 minutes to get to them.

Bucky gets off the phone and goes back to Steve’s side. Bucky brings his hand to his cheek and cups his face. Steve opens his eyes again. “Hi, Buck.” Bucky smiles weakly. “Hi” Bucky sees the sparkle leaving Steve’s eyes and feels how cold his body is going and knows it’s not because of the weather.

Steve knows he’s going too, so he brings Bucky the closest he can to him with the last of his strength. He kisses Bucky very loving and full of passion. He breaks the kiss and looks Bucky in the eyes. Steve finally speaks the words that both of them are thinking. “Both of us know what is happening, so please don’t try to deny it. I just want you to know that you made me such a happy man, James. You should be so proud. I could never ask for anyone else to spend my life with. You made me whole finally and that’s the greatest gift you have given me besides your love. I was grateful enough to be able to wake up each morning and have you lying next to me. I could never forget the feeling I got when I saw you smile or how your eyes lit up when you got one on your face.”

The tears are falling freely down Bucky’s cheeks as he listens to Steve’s last words. “I want someone else to experience that from you, Buck. I want you to make someone else happy again. Just know that I will always be with you in your heart. I will always be watching over you, making sure that you are getting by.”

Steve closes his eyes and takes in a shaking breath. Bucky finally pleads, “Please don’t leave me, Steve! I just got you back! I’m nothing without you. I’ll have no more happiness in my life. Please fight back for me. Fight, so we can be together forever. Stevie, please don’t make me go home alone. Don’t make me live this life without you. I need you by my side.” Steve gets a small smile on his face and looks at Bucky. He says softly, “I love you, Buckaroo.” “I love you too, darling. Please stay with me.” Steve kisses Bucky tenderly then says on Bucky’s lips, “I’m with you til the end of the line.”

Bucky feels Steve’s body go limp against his and knows he’s lost Steve forever. Bucky kisses Steve’s lips one last time. “Til the end of the line.” Bucky’s body just collapses right there and he cries his heart out.

About 10 minutes later, the ambulance finally arrives. The paramedics run up to him and Steve. A few of the paramedics start to work on Steve and put him on a stretcher. Bucky says to one of the paramedics taking care of Steve, “Don’t try to bring him back. He’s already gone.” The paramedic just nods his head and walks off with Steve. Bucky lets the paramedics do what they have to do to him and they finally put him in the ambulance.

Bucky doesn’t remember much after that except being at the hospital alone at night and feeling he had nothing else to live for. At night, when he was alone, that’s when he would let the tears fall.

The funeral was one of the hardest things he’s ever been through in his life. He could barely get through it. It was too painful to see everyone here because Steve was actually gone. Bucky didn’t like seeing everyone so sad. He knew that Steve would want them all to celebrate his life. Still, Bucky couldn’t help but be so sad himself. His other half was taken from him too soon.

**Present- July 2018**

Bucky runs his fingers over Steve’s name on the tombstone. “I miss you so much. I love you even more now that you are gone. I don’t know how that is possible. Maybe it’s because I miss all the little things you used to do. I know you told me to make someone else happy, but I can’t even think of anyone taking your place in my heart, Stevie.”

Bucky lets the tears fall. “Why didn’t you fight, Steve? Why couldn’t you fight to stay with me? Why did you have to leave me all by myself? I’m in so much pain. You took my heart with you when you left. I was going to ask you to marry me that weekend. I was looking forward to our long life together. I had so many plans for us! Now I won’t ever know. It’s all my fault! Why couldn’t I have seen the deer sooner? Why couldn’t I be the one that died? Oh, my God! Please just come back to me! I want to hold you in my arms and kiss your soft lips. Please, Steve! Please just come back to me! I need you so badly.”

Bucky hears the footsteps coming from behind him then feels the hand on his shoulder. Bucky turns his head and sees his and Steve’s friend, Sam, standing there. “You need to let him go, Buck. It’s not fair to you to keep holding on to something that is no longer there.” Bucky nods his head. “I know I do, but I can’t seem to take the last step to let him go. I’m afraid that I’ll forget him.” “I don’t think that is possible. Steve wanted you to move on and knows that you won’t ever forget about him.”

Bucky wipes his tears away. “I don’t want it to be time, but deep down, I think I know it’s time to move on with my life.” Sam smiles. “ I’m glad. Steve would be so happy to see you do that.” Bucky smiles weakly at his friend and Sam squeezes his shoulder then walks off to his car.

Bucky kisses the tips of his fingers then places them over Steve’s name on the tombstone as he says, “Fly free, Steve.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your feedback on this or if you would like me to write anything else like this, just let me know. 
> 
> And I would like to apologize if I made you cry while reading this, I’m so sorry!!


End file.
